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“I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing.” -Dean Winchester, Supernatural
~_._._._._~
The gathered clouds, gray and dreary as the rain mourns for a hawk recently passed away. Sniffles and sobs can be heard. The sunny hawk can never come back. Nature and fate can be so cruel. Tears blends into the rain as he stood there that seems like hours. Emotionless. Faceless. Emptiness. Loneliness. Darkness. His light is gone. Extinguish forever. Never coming back. Lost for all eternity. It wasn't exactly fair. His one and only taken away from his grasp.

“Oha Asa, why was he taken away from me? I don't understand? Is this my fate?” Midorima in a moment of true despair. “I couldn't save him.”

Former teammates from his high and middle years has attended the funeral. For condolences and for support. However, all none seems to reach. When all have gone home or work, Midorima continues to stand alone, envelop in his own grief. As Midorima remembers the night of Takao's death, Midorima could not stop blaming himself for letting Takao die due to his powerlessness.
-
Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep!

The code blue room. It was coming from Takao's room. Terror strikes within Midorima.

No! No! It can't be! Kazunari! Please! Don't leave me! Kazunari!

Tears flowing from despair. Doctors and nurses rushes to Takao's room. Machinery to pull Takao. A doctor and nurse nearest to the door of Takao's room holds Midorima back from coming in.

“No, Doctor Midorima! You must not come in! Your emotionally clouded right now. Leave the rest to the others to save him, please!”

Midorima couldn't hear it. All he wanted was to be next to Takao as all this goes down. To be the one who saves him. Everything around him seems to be going in slow motion. Takao's condition was worst than anyone has anticipated. A lot worst than the latest results has shown. Takao's illness was rapidly growing. Too fast.

Midorima called Takao's name over and over again. To not give up. To keep living. To not let that illness beat him. Takao was a fighter who didn't give up. However, it wasn't much use. The end of the line was there. Death is there to claim expired lives as if it was nothing.

'This is the natural order of nature. It is how the universe works' is what Death would say.

Unacceptable. This couldn't be happening, yet it is. Flat line. He is gone. Midorima couldn't bear the news. It was too much. He let Takao slip through his fingers. How could he let Takao slip through his goddamn fingers?! It didn't make sense to him at all. Midorima gritted his teeth, holding back every single negative feelings welling inside of him.

-
Days has passed since the funeral and Midorima is buried in his work, cutting off everything. Wake up. Work. Food. Shower. Sleep. That's all Midorima indulged himself into. Not a care in socializing. Everything is painful for Midorima. If Midorima haven't been keeping himself busy, his mind will wonder off towards Takao and he will be reminded again that his hawk is gone forever. The hole in his heart is too much to bear. Fellow Kiseki no Sedai, Kuroko, Midorima's former Shuntoku teammates who still kept in touch much thanks to Takao all try to best console Midorima. All to no avail. Words and actions of support fallen deaf and blind to Midorima. To Midorima, was anything even worth it anymore? Reality is too cruel of karma.

“Doctor Midorima, there you are. I have been looking for you.” A nurse walks up to Midorima.

“What is it?” Midorima scanning a patient chart without looking up at the nurse.

“Personal effects of the patient you were close with are finally finished being processed.” The nurse spoke slowly, but surely. “Since you were listed as the only family, Doctor Yoshima wants you to sign off some papers after your shift.”

A pause. A silence seemingly to shatter at any second. Midorima sighs. “Fine. Leave it all at my desk.”

The nurse nods in affirmation and left. Takao's personal effects. When Midorima thought he has them all at the house since Takao's death. All stored and locked up in a faraway corner of his memory. Why is fate being so cruel to him?

After his shift, Midorima returns to his desk and sign and stamp the papers left by the nurse. While Midorima rummage through Takao's personal effects that seem have to been left behind by Takao during the remainder of his life at the hospital, an envelop floats out.

“....?” Midorima picks it up the envelop. On it is Takao's handwriting address to Midorima. Curiosity yet hesitantly, Midorima slowly opens the envelop. Inside it is the contents conveying Takao's pack full of feelings, his last words to Midorima. Typical and cliché. Midorima self-loathing laughs to himself. That is so Takao. As Midorima reads the letter, tears wells up and threatens to fall.

Midorima takes off his glasses and places a hand over his eyes after reading the letter, biting his lower lips. Sniffling to have any emotions show at work. Takao really knows how to wreck him up, even after death. Damn annoying jerk. Midorima inhales and exhales a few rattled deep breaths to calm himself down.

“Kazunari, once I see you in the afterlife, you better prepare yourself.” Midorima leans back on his chair, a smile full of mixed emotions creeps up on his face.

Midorima closes his eyes and dream of Takao for the first time since Takao's death. It isn't a terrible dream per say, but a pleasant one. Nostalgic days of the past. Takao smiling brightly at Midorima, in the church they once set foot in years ago. Takao calls for Midorima, telling him let's do their wedding right with everyone. Midorima smiles back at Takao, full of love and admiration. No regrets falling for each other.
-
'To my beloved Shin-chan.

By the time you read this, I'll be long gone. Pretty cheesy line, huh? LOL. Oooh, I can hear your grumpy voice scowling me already. That's the part of you I love the most, Shin-chan. You big tsundere. Ahem. I'm.... I'm sorry I have to leave you so soon suddenly and that I never told you sooner my illness. As I write this letter, my life is ever growing short. By the time I'm finish writing this heartfelt letter to you, Death will be giving me a visit really soon. Please don't blame yourself over my death. Knowing you, you already beating yourself up about it. It's my fault that you're feeling this way. Sorry. Sorry. Oh man, this doesn't sound like me at all, does it? Creepy isn't it? *laughs nervously*
As I write this, I regret not able to be with you longer. I.... I really want to grow old with you. I really do. I love you so much. I really really REALLY do love you. You feel the same way right? It really sucks that I have to left before you do. Shin-chan, I'll be patiently waiting for you. I'm sure fate brought us together for a reason. The days I'd spent with you are the happiest. Everyday was so fun. I was so overjoy when you returned my feelings that day. Oh yeah, you already knew didn't you? Haha.
Shin-chan, may I ask you a favor? For the dying man's sake? Please be happy. How sad it would be if you cut off everyone and just work, work, work. I know how stubborn you are, but remember there are people who are there for you. You are not alone. I already know I hold a very special place in your heart. You can never forget about me, even if you try. I'm not too worried about that. :) Don't be a very gloomy Shin-chan, okay? I love who you were when we first met and I love you even more now. Shin-chan, continue saving lives and never lose yourself in the process. Are you able to fulfill this dying man's wish? I'll be very sad if you couldn't. There are so many things I want to tell you, but I'm pretty sure you know what they are. Am I right? Am I right?
I'm so happy to have met you Shin-chan. I am full of happiness, I feel I could explode. I know what you're going to say. We're lovers and we know each other for a long time now. You made my whole life worth something. Thank you. Thank you so much for everything. I patiently await for you. Don't be in such a rush to die, OK? I'll be angry if I see you so soon after death, my naughty tsundere. Until we meet again. Love you lots, Shin-chan.
With full of love and happiness,
Kazunari <3 <3
Forget-Me-Not no Us Chapter 4
Title: Forget-Me-Not no Us
Chapter 4 Title: Flowers of Ironic Karma
Summary: [WARNING: YAOI][Don't like boy x boy, don't read!] Midorima and Takao is having a steady relationship ever since their confession that fateful night after practice at Shutoku High. However, Takao is keeping a secret. A very big secret for a long time. How will Midorima handle the news of Takao's secret once it's out? Time skips involved. Sequel to MidoTaka one-shot, Carrot Love.

A/N: so much angst! sorry for ending midotaka week with this as an aftermath. ~OxO~ did this hurt your feels? yes? no? maybe? who bloody cares? whatever happens to midorima after this? well... i'll leave that to your imagination as long he's following takao's advice. haha. This is the final chapter, but enjoy.

::DISCLAIMER:: I do not own KnB or its characters.

Chapter 1 link: sayu-hatake.deviantart.com/art…
Chapter 2 link: sayu-hatake.deviantart.com/art…
Chapter 3 link: sayu-hatake.deviantart.com/art…
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"What if I've made the wrong choice? How am I supposed to know?" Castiel, Supernatural

~_._._._~

“Why?!” Midorima cries out desperately. “Why didn't you tell me sooner? We could have gotten you cured!”

Takao winced, not able to look directly at Midorima in the eyes, feeling extremely guilty. He knew his beloved tsundere would react badly at this news that's why he never told Midorima. Takao knew he didn't have long left to live because of his illness. It's been a few years since their eternal vow after their high school graduation and Takao have never told Midorima about his illness until he was submitted into the hospital after collapsing in the apartment condo they are living in together.

“W-Why, Kazunari? Why didn't you tell me sooner?” Midorima clutches his clipboard tightly, unable to hold his feelings back. “I love you. I love you, Kazunari. I wanted to be with you forever.”

Takao twitches slightly at those words, sadness befalls on his face. The fallen hawk slightly, but softly touches Midorima's right cheek. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Shin-chan. I knew.... I knew since before I met you I don't have long to live. I couldn't bear letting you know. I never wanted you throw your life away just to save silly old me.”

“Aho! How could you say that! Your life is very precious!” More tears threaten to spill from Midorima's eyes, his face fill with broken heartiness despair. “To me.... To me, you're everything.”

“Doctor Midorima! Please keep your voice in check. I know it's hard for you to endure this, but please keep a cool head.” Doctor Yoshima, Midorima's superior at the Tokyo Hospital, said with a grim expression before sighing. “I knew I shouldn't have assign you to his case. Doctors are not suppose to treat patients from their personal lives. There are high risks of emotional errors that could very possibility kill the patient.”

Midorima grits his teeth. After everything they been though to get to this point. How could his beloved hawk keep such an important information from him. Midorima tries his best to hold back his tears, from breaking down right there, right then.

Takao smiles sadly at Midorima. “It'll be alright, Shin-chan. It's not like it's going to be goodbye forever.”

“But--!” Doctor Yoshima place his hand on Midorima's shoulder and shakes his head before Midorima spoke even further.

Takao smiles, placing his usual smiling face, a hint of sadness behind it. “I'll be fine. Go take care of your other patients. I'm not going anywhere today.”

Midorima grimace than heaves a heavy sigh. For him, for Takao, Midorima agrees to finish his rounds for the days. “I'll come back and check on you after my rounds, Kazunari.”

Takao waves at Midorima goodbye. “Mmm. I'll see you later, Shin-chin.”

After Midorima left the room, shadow covers Takao's face, his expression hard to read, as he slowly puts his hand down. Takao slowly turns his head towards the now setting sun of pink and orange, a small sigh escaping his lips. Now the cat is out of the bag, Takao wonders what he's going to do now. It was never his intention to worry Midorima. Too late now, huh. Maybe, just maybe he should have told Midorima so much sooner. Takao laughs sadly. Takao clicks a button to call in a nurse.

“Yes Takao-san?” A young nurse who's maybe slightly older than Takao. Beautiful, but nothing compare to his Shin-chin's beauty. “Do you need some help?”

Takao smiles at the nurse. “Do you mind if I have some papers, something to write with, and an envelop?”

“Sure. Right away.” The nurse gives a small bow and left to complete Takao's request.

I wish I can watch you play basketball one more time, Shin-chan. I love you with all my heart. I'm glad I got the chance to meet and fall in love with you. Thank you for everything.....

After Midorima finished his rounds, Midorima checks with Doctor Yoshima about Takao's latest test results and conditions. Unfortunately, the news isn't great. Midorima couldn't believe it, but it's all there. Midorima's time with his beloved is growing ever so short. How... How could Midorima not see it earlier? He could brought all of Takao's lucky items as well. Maybe, just maybe Takao's luck would turn around. That everything will become a dream. That Takao really isn't stricken with an incurable disease.

“Is... Is there really no hope for him, Yoshima-sensei?” Midorima asked hoarsely, not wanting to hear the answer he knew deep within his heart.

“Yes. I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do. Even if we're able to somehow submit him into a trial being done overseas, there is no guarantee he'll make it into the cut. Getting into the experimental trials is highly competitive and the higher priorities are always the top the list.” Doctor Yoshima explains. “As a young doctor yourself, you should know that fact by now.”

Midorima clutches his jaws tightly, his hands slightly quivering. He knew all that, yet it's still hard to accept those facts. There will be never be anyone else be Takao. The stupid annoying hawk was his everything. How? How can he live without his beloved stupid annoying hawk? Suddenly a code blue alert echos in the hospital halls.

'It can't be?!' Midorima gasps in horror, fearing the worse. 'Kazunari! Kazunari! Please let it not be you. Please Kamina. Please don't take Kazunari away from me. I can't bear to leave him yet. Hang in there. Don't you dare die before I'm there.'

Midorima prays. Prays with all his heart his fear has not yet come to pass. He mustn't give into tears threatening to well up. Never giving up hope that everything will be fine. That he and Takao will get through this wall together. All the shit they've been through would not be for naught. Midorima place his hand over his heart as he pray to his horoscope god over and over again. A long night awaits....
Forget-Me-Not no Us Chapter 3
Title: Forget-Me-Not no Us
Chapter 3: Wilting Orange Carnation
Summary: [WARNING: YAOI][Don't like boy x boy, don't read!] Midorima and Takao is having a steady relationship ever since their confession that fateful night after practice at Shutoku High. However, Takao is keeping a secret. A very big secret for a long time. How will Midorima handle the news of Takao's secret once it's out? Time skips involved. Sequel to MidoTaka one-shot, Carrot Love.

A/n: Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. Couldn't really think of anything else to put into this chapter. In other news, this story is almost over. It's meant to be one of those fics that's less than 10 chapters short. Plus, there might be angry readers who doesn't appreciate the constant time skips. So yeah... Better keep that to a bare minimum ^^;; I believe all of you have figure out what happen in the end. I'm gonna make it hurt next chapter because I hate you all. I'm just kidding. I love you guys, that's why the pain. Look forward to the next chapter! Finally an update. The angst continues! Was going to have this chapter up for MidoTaka day, but never gotten around to finishing it in time. Well... I was, but I kinda forgot. Sorry! After I got really busy with work because of the holiday season and all, so I never really had the time to write anything or play much video games for that matter cuz of it. Now I got some time to write this story for MidoTaka week. Yay! Hopefully I get this finished before MidoTaka week ends. There is another time skip in this chapter since chapter 2, a large one. Please enjoy chapter 3!

::DISCLAIMER:: I do not own KNB or its character. It belongs to its rightful owner

Chapter 1 link: sayu-hatake.deviantart.com/art…
Chapter 2 link: sayu-hatake.deviantart.com/art…
Chapter 4 link: sayu-hatake.deviantart.com/art…
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been away from DA for so long again and they changed the layout of the site on me while i was on DA hiatus. i have been away for far too long again.... been a long time since i post anything here too.
  • Watching: Bones
  • Playing: mobile otome games + FEA
  • Drinking: water
“Love. It's like a delicate flame. And once it's gone, it's gone forever.” -Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin, OUAT
-
How could this happen? He never meant to do it. Not on purpose. He just wanted to be left alone and not be bothered with practice. He hated practice. It was tiring. It was boring. If he was left alone about it, then maybe all of this wouldn't have happened. She wouldn't have slip through his fingers. It wasn't fair. Why does this incident the one that made him realize he has fallen for her hard?

She's gone and he could never see her again. Not ever. He was stupid. If he hadn't changed him then maybe... just maybe she wouldn't have run off and got in middle of a crossfire... and dying... alone. What has he'd done? It's all his fault. The one he's in love with died without him telling her how he feels.... He never meant to have her leave his sight. Never.

He never thought it would hurt so much. Why would anyone want to feel this way? It's painful. He was never interested in anything before. Nothing. Just his love for snacks and sweets. It was all he needed. He's good at basketball, yes. However he only likes winning next to his love for sweets and junk food. Pocky was the one thing that drew his attention to her. His dream. His future. The most beautiful person he ever lay eyes on.

She was constantly on his mind. The time they spent was too short. Two years wasn't enough. She made his life worthwhile. Meaningful. His closest friend. His best friend. She tolerated him. She puts up with him. She was willing to spend time with him on their days off. She even tutored him on his worst subjects. Always treated him his favorite food, even know how to make it.

He doesn't know what to do with himself. Atsushi deserves to be called the fool. The giant idiot. Never again he can ever interact with her ever again. He lost her forever. He knows it. How can Atsushi face him? Atsushi felt such a failure as a person and as a basketball player. He doesn't feel he has the right to stand among them. The Kiseki no Sedai. He's a murderer. Yes, that's what he constantly thought to himself.

Atsushi Murasakibara will never be with true love again. Words left unsaid of feelings he never knew he had until it was too late. His heart growing cold. Breaking into two. A void. Shattering pieces. She meant the world to him. Never able to apologize to her. Of how she means to him.  Atsushi will never get the chance to say these little words: “I love you... Mits-chin.”
-
It was the first day of school at Teiko Junior High of their first year when they met. A destiny intertwine. Fate. Atsushi Murasakibara and Mitsuki Akashi happens to be in the same first year class, a fate that can be too cruel. He loves sweets and junk foods and was never been seen without munching on them during breaks. She is never seen without her notebooks, always writing something in them. Both loners with intense auras shrouding them, making it impossible for others to approach the two entities.

Lunch was nearly over when Atsushi came back into the classroom. He sighs as he wanted to buy more junk food before lunch ended. With sudden strange fate of luck, Atsushi notices a box of pocky on a desk not far from him. He couldn't help but walk over to that pocky desk, only to find the box empty. He would have been sadden if he haven't spotted the pocky stick in the corner of his eyes. Without thinking, Atsushi ate the pocky stick and ironically kissed the soft lips the pocky stick was hanging out with as well.

Atsushi pulls back, licking the crumbs away, only to find himself staring down a red-head girl with heterochromic eyes glaring back at him in utter horror as if she's about to scream. Atsushi fails to notice the red-head girl was blushing furiously while keeping her cool murderous demeanor. It's not like he cares for small details like those. Atsushi smiled his goofy lazy smile as he licked his fingers and lips from crumbs, ignoring everyone around him and the hell that seemingly to have frozen over.

Atsushi couldn't help but notice that he finds himself increasingly staring at Mitsuki from time to time. Ever since that day with the Pocky incident, Atsushi couldn't stop thinking about her and her soft sweet-tasting lips. Those lips was delicious and sweet and he wants to taste them again. He wanted a reason to taste those lips of hers again. Any kind of reason, but he's a lazy type of a thinker. When club activities recruitment rolled around after school, Atsushi was ecstatic to find out Mitsuki is going to be one of the Teiko Basketball Club manager.

Atsushi started hanging around Mitsuki, hoping to mooch off sweets from her, since that day. Mitsuki got so irritated with it she ended up starting to make lunch for him that included all kinds of sweets. Atsushi was please with it and teases her by stealing a bit of her lunch from time to time with his lazy happy smile. Mitsuki pouts and scolded him every time he does. The titan somewhat didn't mean when she does as long he can spend more time with her, hoping to steal those sweet lips again someday.
-
Atsushi cries in despair. Crying in silence. Teeth grits. Hiding his pain. So much to bear. Memories of her are too agonizing to bear. No one to comfort him. His heart frozen in ice. Left to wonder if he had told her he loved her, would it make a difference? Any difference at all? So many questions ran across his mind. He would never find the answers. It was too late. Who knew it would hurt so much for just loving someone.

Shintarou slap Atsushi on the back to get him out of his dazed depressed state. “What the hell are you standing around for, nanadayo? Akashi's back from the hospital. Let's go. He's waiting for us.”

Atsushi nods his head sadly and follows Shintarou to the club room. There in the club room are Daiki, Satsuki, Ryouta, and Tetsuya when Shintarou and Atsushi arrived. There in the back of the club room stands Seijurou talking to the coach quietly in their usual gloomy monotone faces. They can feel the heavy gloomy air lingering in the club room.

“Akashi. We're here. I believe you have a reason for calling all of us here?” Midorima announced their arrival.

“Yes,” Seijurou said in his authoritative voice. “Mitsuki have pulled through the surgery and is now resting in the hospital.”

Everyone sigh in relief, glad their captain's younger twin sister is alive. Atsushi's heart felt lighter as if a brick was lifted from crushing it further. Mitsuki.... Mitsuki is not dead. She's alive with them in the world of the living. Atsushi's so happy to hear of that piece of good news. He can see his beloved once more. Tetsuya looks at Atsushi, noticing the purple-hair basketball player's odd behavior.

“However,” Seijurou continues as everyone immediately drew their attention to him again. “She is in intensive care momentarily. She will remain at the hospital for a while until she her wounds heals fully stabilized without the need of intensive care. Then she will undergo observation and rehab.”

“Wh-When can we go see her?” Satsuki asked in a scared voice.

A frightening silence follows Satsuki's question. Everyone too scared to move a muscle, afraid Seijurou will strike his wrath upon the room.

“In a few of days when she's completely stable,” Seijuro finally answered. “I tell you when it is alright to visit. If you try to seek a visit behind my back, I assure you. There will be consequences.”

Everyone gulps at those words. They all knew not to take Seijurou's words lightly. Their captain meant every word. And this is his younger sister they're talking about. They all knew how protective he is of her. As expected from the model scary-ass overprotective older brother. No one would ever dare to defy him, except maybe for Haizaki. But everyone knows he literally never learns. Poor guy...... Maybe.
-
Atsushi stands by the door, nervous to be anywhere near Mitsuki, Tetsuya standing next to him. Daiki sits at a corner of the hospital room with an annoyed glum angry-like face. Kise stood at the foothead of the bed, restless from full of worry. Satsuki and Seijurou sits on either of Mitsuki's hospital bed. Shintarou stands behind Seijurou, arms crossed in his usual calm and collected posture. Satsuki squeezes Mitsuki's hand softly, her sad worried expression clearly written over her face.

“Mitsu-chan.,” Satsuki sniffs sadly, her eyes clearly bloodshot from all the crying. “You had us s-so worried. What if it had been T-Tetsu-kun?”

“.....” Tetsuya looks at Momoi. “Momoi-san. I'm really not that special. And I promise you it won't happen.”

“B-But you don't know that!” Satsuki cries. “I-I-It can happen to any of us. It's f-frightening to think about i-it.”

The room fell silent again at those heavy words. Everyone understood Satsuki's words holds true. They may be still kids, but it can still happen to any of them. That is the cruel reality of it all. And it scare the living shit out of them, knowing all that fact.

“H-Hey... We don't need to talk all this depressing stuff, you know.” Ryouta broke the heavy void of a silence, trying his best to put on his best face in order to lighten the mood. “Let's throw her a welcome back party once she comes to school. Right?”

“R-right! If that's alright with Akashi-kun.” Satsuki's voice cracks a little, all eyes wryly turns on Seijurou.

The long pause feels like an eternity before he finally spoke. “I will think about it. For now, I believe it is time for all of you to go.”

Everyone files out of the room obediently. Atsushi stares back at Mitsuki's bedridden body sadly, unable to form words the entire time. What can he say? Why was he here? He doesn't deserve to be here. Atsushi slouches sadly as he walks with the others out of the hospital.
-
A few days has passed since everyone visited Mitsuki in the hospital. Atsushi decided to visit her alone on a sunny, cloudless Sunday. He had no plans that day and it may as well be his last day to see her, resolve firm. Atsushi places a hand on Mitsuki's cheek, caressing it softly, and bit his lips from quivering. He leans forward and places his forehead on hers, eyes closed.

“I love you, Mits-chin,” Atsushi whispers in her ears, a single tear drops on her cheeks. “I'm sorry for everything.”

Atsushi kisses Mitsuki on the forehead and stood up slowly. Atsushi pets her head, staring at her lovingly, remembering all the moments he spent with her. Precious memories he'll lock away in his heart. Reluctantly, Atsushi turns around and walks away, hoping he wouldn't break along the way.

Mitsuki subconsciously twitched her finger a tiny bit and softly called out Atsushi's name. Atsushi stop at the door, eyes shadowed, and smiles weakly. Someday... someday he will be worthy enough to be with her. To stay by her side forever if she lets him. He will never let any harm come to her. Never again would he want to hurt his beloved again.

“I will be your shield..... I will never leave your side no matter what.... I promise.... Mits-chin....” Atsushi left without looking back, facing the future head on.

Hey Kuro-chin.... Do you think she will feel the same about me? Do you think Aka-chin will allow us to be together? What if she rejects me like all the others? She might hate me now after what happened.

Kuro-chin. I'm scared.... I'm scared for the first time in my life. Does that sound stupid? I-I don't know what to do anymore.

'No... I don't think that's stupid at all. I think it's natural to feel that way. Once she wakes up, do your best to tell her how you feel about everything.'
-
“My grandfather told me that I mustn't take off my mask. My grandfather said my face isn't like a normal person's, I'm sure I have a very strange face... I'm sure I have a face like a monster... Please don't look at my face. I don't want you to hate me.” - Clear, DMMD
Lost Purple Heart

Summary:Murasakibara never knew of love. He wasn't never interested in relationships or anything but his snacks. But his heart tells a different story when tragedy strikes. [Murasakibara x OC]

Now that KnB manga is finally over, I thought put another KnB fic just for it. I know many of us will surely miss the manga. However, as we keep KnB close to our hearts, the fandom will live on.

::DISCLAIMER:: I do not own this wonderful series.

~note ~

OUAT = Once Upon A Time

DMMD = Dramatical Murder

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no! He can't fade away! His beloved shadow. Why didn't he realize how short their time was together? Why didn't anyone tell him?! It's fucking unfair! Bring back the time that was stolen from him! This damn fucking cruel reality of fate.

Please don't go.... Testu! Stay with me longer! Please! I love you!

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Why?! Why didn't any of you bastards tell me?!" Aomine yells out angrily in agony. “I can't lose him! I just can't!”

Aomine couldn't stop the tears from overflowing. No one knows or even can comfort the broken Aomine. They lost Kuroko. They all knew somewhere in their hearts Kuroko was just a fleeting dream. No one wanted to admit it even when Kuroko confirmed it himself. They knew Aomine was an idiot for not seeing it. But.....But who knew Aomine would fall in love with the shadow.

It was painful. So painful they turned into a blind eye. Pretend it was just all a joke. Laughter lasting for an eternity. Smiles. Just smiles. Smiles of joy. No heartbreak. No sadness to speak of. An illusion of happiness. Together forever. The funnest they ever have. The Teiko golden years. Short, yet bittersweet.

Seeing Aomine and Kuroko's love for each other made it harder for anyone to tell Aomine. They knew.... They knew it would break him completely apart just as it's doing to him now. If they had told him sooner, Aomine would ruin his life in finding a way to keep Kuroko around longer. No one wanted that, especially Kuroko. That's why, that's why they kept it a secret.

'Please don't be sad, Aomine-kun. I will always be in your heart for as long you don't forget me. I love you. Thank you for loving me back,' Kuroko whispers those words softly to Aomine as Kuroko fades away from Aomine's embrace.

"A-Ahh....!" Aomine cries. "T-Tetsu... Dammit! DAMMIT ALL!!!!"

"A-Aomine....kun...." Momoi cries silently, knees buckles before collapsing onto the floor, giving into sadness.

No one else moved a muscle. What can they do? Nothing they do or say will ever be any comfort to Aomine. Kuroko was special. A precious member of Teiko. If only they knew how to bring Kuroko back, then maybe..... maybe everything will go back to the way things were before. However, reality shows no mercy.

Ever since the day Kuroko faded away in Aomine's arms, Aomine refuses to leave his room. Momoi tries multiple times to get Aomine out of his room, but with no avail. How could Aomine face everyone? He lost Kuroko and he cried in front of everyone. Aomine never felt so weak his entire life. He couldn't even save the person he loves so much with all his heart.

Tetsu...... I missed you so much..... Why did you have to leave me.....? Tetsu....

'I'm sorry, Aomine-kun. I'm sorry I have to leave you behind and not telling you. I never meant to hurt you....... We'll meet again, someday. Someday we'll be together again.'


His last words. His final moments. His final smile. All for Aomine alone. Aomine's heart couldn't stop throbbing painfully. An empty shell. Hollow like a black hole. Aomine wants die. So badly if it means he can finally see Kuroko again. It was his fault. All his fault that Kuroko is gone. Aomine's overwhelming light is what cause the shadow to overwhelm and get so strong as it eats away Kuroko silently.

Aomine grits his teeth of the memory. How long has pass since that day? Aomine can't even move a muscle. Why didn't anyone blame him? Because of him Kuroko is gone. If Aomine wasn't being so fucking selfish and saying crap like 'The only one who can beat me is me,' then maybe Kuroko could still be here with them. They should have blame him. He killed Kuroko with his goddamn selfishness.

“Blame me, dammit. Why don't you bastards blame me? I was the one who pushed him to his death faster. We could have saved him. Tetsu.....” Aomine bit his lips from crying out in utter despair.

No matter how much Aomine beat himself over it, agonized it every single second, it wasn't a dream. Everything around him is so quiet and dead. Nothing is worth living anymore. The world is so dark to Aomine. Was it worth living in the light without his beloved shadow?

If there's a God out there... Please take me to Tetsu. I'm begging you. Anything to be with him... I miss you.... Tetsu.... Answer me please....

A soft warm hand places itself on Aomine's head and strokes his hair gently, a sweet familiar voice whispering like a cool breeze. “Aomine-kun, please don't sad anymore. I promise we'll meet again remember? Please.... Live on to the fullest for me. I will always be watching you even if you no longer can see me.”

Aomine's eyes snaps open and bolts right up, arm outstretch. “TETSU! Tetsu......”

Aomine let his arm drop effortlessly, his face droop in a sad expression. It couldn't be.... He must have imagined it. Aomine rests his head on the cool wall behind him and sighs, light sweat tickling down his face. Aomine pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Urgh.... Fuck. This isn't like me at all. Tetsu, is it really okay to live and move on without you.” Aomine laughs in defeat, smiling painfully, clutching over his heart, tears mingling with the light sweat.

A knock on the door. “Dai-kun....?”

That voice....  Aomine raises his eyebrows. “Satsuki....?”

A light gasp can be heard. “D-Dai-kun, you finally answered me.”

Oh. That's right. Satsuki has been checking up on me lately hasn't she? Sorry Satsuki for worrying you.

Aomine slowly gets up from his bed and crosses his room to open the door to face Momoi. “Yeah.”

Momoi's lips quivers and buries herself in Aomine's chest. “A-Aho! Aho! Aho! Aho! Don't give me that 'Yeah!'” You had everyone worried! We thought the worst could have happened to you!”

Aomine was frozen in place for moment before places a hand on Momoi's head, petting her, a soft and gentle smile plays over his face. “Yeah. Sorry. I should apologize to you and the others politely. Thanks... for worrying about someone like me. I really don't deserve it.”

Momoi keeps sniffling in Aomine's chest. The Kiseki no Sedai comes into the hallway, glum and worried. They... all came to see him.

“Aominechii! You finally came out! We were so worried!” Kise automatically goes into his crying mode.

Midorima pushes his glasses back, holding his lucky item of the day, an alarm clock. “I-I wasn't worried or anything for the likes of you, you know.”

“Welcome back to the world of the living, Mine-chin.” Murasakibara stuffing his indifferent face with snacks and sweets as usual.

Aomine pulls a smirk, corners of his mouth twitching in irritation. Fucking annoying bastards. That's the first thing that comes out of their mouths? Honestly. The Kiseki no Sedai is full of weirdos. Heh. He shouldn't be saying considering he's one himself. A monster.

Aomine continues to pat and stroke Momoi's soft well-conditioned hair. “You're all annoying, you know that.”

“Daiki, it's only natural they were worried about you. Since you have been absent from school for so long, I have thought up of a good punishment for you.” Akashi stares right through Aomine.

Aomine shivers at the stare, knowing Akashi always mean what he says. Damn, Akashi is so demanding and he gives him the creeps. “Y-yeah...... S-sorry about that.”

“Now come. We have much to discuss.” Akashi holds out his hand in his usual haughty stance.

Aomine gulps and nods slowly, face grimace. “Why.... why neither of you guys blame me for what happened to Tetsu? I-I pushed him to his death faster.”

Aomine bit his bottom lip. He wanted to know. They shouldn't be worried about him. They should be blaming him instead. Aomine feel a hand place on his head, not of kindness, but of malicious. He froze on the spot immediately, knowing whose hand that belong to.

“Didn't I tell you before, Daiki. I hope you don't need me to repeat myself.” Aomine stiffly shakes his head out of fear from Akashi's commending voice. “Good. We have a lot of work to go through.”

What his future holds before him is uncertain, but one thing he understand is he have friends to lend on, friends he didn't admit having. Aomine follows Akashi away from his room he isolated himself from until moments ago to the future ahead with Momoi walking besides him.

Tetsu.... I will be alright without you right? But.... I can't bear to ever forget about you. Basketball won't be the same without you, you know.

'You'll be fine, Aomine-kun. I will always be your shadow. Please continue with the things you love. Try your best to live to the fullest until we meet again.'

A phantom of a shadow floats down to hug Aomine from behind in a loving brace. Aomine felt this, suddenly stop turns around immediately.

….!!! Tetsu?!

“Aomine-kun? Are you alright?” Momoi cups Aomine's hand worryingly.

“Y-yeah... Yeah.... Sorry. I thought I felt something. Guess it was just my imagination.” Aomine's face fell and resumes following the others.

“O-Oh... I see.” Momoi squeezes Aomine's hands. “I know you're sad, Aomine-kun, but we'll be here with you.”

Momoi gives Aomine a reassuring smile which Aomine returns back as he pats her head. “Heh. Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Satsuki.”

Momoi pouts. “Mou... You really haven't changed much, Aomine-kun. I thought you would. I was worried for nothing.”

Aomine ruffles Momoi's hair. “Heh. You just realizing that now. No way I would change that much. The only one who can change me is me.”

“Hmph.” Momoi puffs out her cheeks. “Meanie.”

Aomine chuckles. “Thanks Satsuki.”

“Huh?” Momoi stares up at Aomine in surprise.

“For worrying about me and not leaving me. I owe it to you, even you annoying sometimes.” Aomine gives Momoi a shoulder hug.

“Aomine-kun..... Mou! Saying weird things at a time like this.” Momoi blushes a bit and grumbles.

The shadowy phantom no one say that moment smiles and places his hand over his chest. He bows his head at the retreating backs of the Kiseki no Sedai, praying for their bright future without him by their side. Praying someone will lead them the right way he couldn't never before. Praying they all find happiness. Most of all praying Aomine would someday find all that, the light he is meant to be. Kuroko fades into the darkness of light, a soft smile dawn on his face, eyes closed. Sending every possible happiness towards his beloved friends and his most beloved light.

Until we all meet again. A fading dream is not the end. It is a new beginning.
Fading Dream
Happy birthday Aomine-kun. This fic was meant for Valentine's Day, but I never finished writing it in time. >_> A/N: Whelp. Since the final chapter of KnB comes out tomorrow, this fic is literally how I feel about it. Sadness. According to ANN, there will be a "miracle" about it in December (Source). Guess we'll see, but do look forward to season 3 in 2015.

Rated: T
Pairing: Aomine x Kuroko
Summary: [WARNING:: SHONEN-AI. Don't like Shonenai? Don't read!] His shadow is gone and the light is surmise in pure guilt, believing that he is the reason his shadow is gone.... Pairing: Aomine x Kuroko. A tiny hint of Aomine x Momoi
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been away from DA for so long again and they changed the layout of the site on me while i was on DA hiatus. i have been away for far too long again.... been a long time since i post anything here too.
  • Watching: Bones
  • Playing: mobile otome games + FEA
  • Drinking: water

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Sayu-Hatake
Mitsuki Akashi
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Gender: female
Relationship status: taken
Occupation: cynical bitch
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Mellodee Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2015   Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav! :)
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thnx 4 the fav!
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Thanks for the fav:) (Smile) 
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no problem
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Thank you for the fav!
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thank you for the fav! ^^ :D
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thanks for fave~
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Thann you very much four thé fav'
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